How to take care of aging parents

Quick insights

• When deciding to offer financial support to their aging parents, people often consider many factors, including their finances, their parents’ needs, expectations and more.
• Support can take the form of direct financial assistance, budgeting help or even offering to let parents move in.
• Additional resources to assist older adults are sometimes available through the government and non-profit organizations, though eligibility requirements often apply.

We’re generally used to the idea of parents financially supporting their children into early adulthood, so it can be an uncomfortable reversal of roles when your parents need financial help from you. This is a financial reality for many as their parents encounter challenges like living off a fixed income and rising medical costs.

In this article, we’ll cover the ins and outs of supporting parents financially.

When to help parents financially

There are several factors that can go into the decision to support aging parents financially. One way to start is by assessing your financial situation and financial goals for the future, as well as those of your immediate family, before committing to helping your parents. Whether the support will be temporary or ongoing can be another factor in the decision-making process.

Money is often a sensitive topic, so open communication about expectations and boundaries is helpful when navigating finances.

The decision to offer parents financial support can be complex and involves a range of financial, emotional and cultural considerations.

How to help aging parents financially

Some people may find the following options helpful as they determine how to offer financial support to their parents.

Create a budget

Building a budget is a helpful way to start managing finances and for people to understand their financial habits.

Creating budgets for both you and your parents may help you assess their financial needs and determine how much support you can afford to give. Creating a budget spreadsheet or using personal budgeting apps are just a couple of options people use.

For some people, aging can impact their ability to make financial decisions, and if this is the case for your parents, it’s possible they’ll need your help with budgeting and long-term financial planning.

Reduce expenses

After you’ve helped your parents create a monthly budget and identified non-essential purchases, you can look for opportunities to make cuts and limit overspending. Here are a few ways some people reduce unnecessary spending as they age:

• Downsize to a smaller house: Once their children leave home, some people find they need less space. In some cases, downsizing to a less expensive house could lead to a lower mortgage payment. If this is an option for your parents, they may need help with tasks like finding a realtor, getting the house ready for showings and packing their belongings.
• Sell a car: For some older adults, having their own car may no longer be necessary. Minimizing their total number of cars could potentially reduce costs related to car loans, insurance premiums and maintenance.
• Limit unnecessary spending: Canceling a streaming service, limiting dinners out or downgrading the cable package are potential ways to free up some cash each month.
• Help with household tasks: Some children help reduce their parents’ expenses by doing certain tasks for them. Cooking meals, performing basic home or vehicle maintenance or driving them to appointments could limit some expenses. Bulk buying groceries for yourself and your parents may also lead to savings.
• Move in with their children: Some children choose to let their parents move in with them, which may eliminate the cost of rent or a mortgage payment from their parents’ budget. This can be a complex decision and may not be for everybody.

In some cases, people choose to share a banking account with an elderly parent. Note that joint bank accounts can come with both advantages and downsides.

Provide financial assistance

If you choose to offer financial help to your parents, there are a few potential ways to go about it. You could contribute a set amount of money each month or offer to take over specific bills, such as medical expenses, utilities or groceries.

Whatever financial support you decide to provide, you can generally start with a transparent conversation with your parents regarding specific amounts and timeframes and follow it up with regular financial check ins. Clear ground rules around your financial limits may reduce misunderstandings and conflicts.

Alternatives to direct financial support

Providing financial assistance to your parents or getting directly involved in their budgeting aren’t the only ways to help them. Here are other resources that some older adults use to help balance their monthly budgets:

• Enroll in financial literacy workshops: Sometimes local libraries, charitable organizations or others offer financial literacy tools to older adults. Financial literacy workshops, courses, webinars and more generally provide information designed to help people make more informed financial decisions.
• Check their medical coverage: If your parents’ medical costs are adding up, their health coverage may be worth examining. There could be other health insurance plans available that may lead to lower medical bills. Keep in mind that many factors can influence healthcare costs.
• Look for government aid or community-based resources: There may be federal, state or local programs available that aid with energy costs, home repairs, groceries, meal delivery and more. Eligibility may depend on income and other factors.

In summary

The decision to help your parents financially can be complicated. If you do decide to offer financial assistance, it may be helpful to have ongoing conversations with your parents about their finances. Aging parents may need help with tasks like creating a budget and identifying non-essential purchases to cut in addition to direct financial support.

Another option to help your parents could be to connect them with government aid and community resources. With adequate planning and transparent ground rules, aging parents and the adult children who support them can still make progress toward their financial goals.